Customer Serviced

It’s a generational thing. And it is completely absurd.

We now have at least two generations of people (kids, really) who just don’t get it. They are willing to share all of their personal information. They are willing to pay for HBO online but still get commercials. They live in apartments with no curtains or sense of privacy. They are willing to perpetually pay over half of their earnings for a shoebox they can call “home” that they will never own. They are willing to let corporations buy and sell and warehouse all of their personal information, habits, online viewing trends, shoe size, and even their thoughts. Am I dreaming? They really do want that dystopian life everyone like Kurt Vonnegut and George Orwell have been warning us about for decades, if not centuries. Is the red warning light so common place nowadays that no one even sees it any longer? Do we have to change it to some other obnoxious color so people pay attention again?

This is not a video game. This is not a “lifestyle.” It is not a funny commercial. It is not a clever little podcast by your favorite douchebag who can’t even spell words with more than three letters. This is not something you can switch off when you get tired of it. This is not something that the government nor the corporations will surrender just because you start stamping your little feet. This is real. As much as your lives exist in the unreal ether, this is life-threateningly real. For all of us. Except it is in real life not the digital domain.

We have been sliding back into Facism, Totalitarianism, Oligarchy, and Authoritarianism for decades. Pick one, they are all pretty bad choices. And yet, here we are. Even having to have this discussion reveals how much ignorance has grown in this country. It is supposed to be fading off as we all get more educated. But we aren’t are we? We are embracing ignorance, slang, and looking up to criminals as heroes. What a losing combination. Nothing there to look forward to.

Anyway, there are several places this can go, but here is one: the modern man’s ego. I’m sorry, how politically incorrect of me. The modern “person’s” ego. Echo. Id. It all keeps getting in the way of actually becoming an intellectual. And moving society forward.

Our hipster generation has reached rock-bottom in so many ways, but one that stands out in my mind is how they confuse quality, quantity, and customer service.

China has been making great leaps in its ability to make higher quality products, but they are still a far cry from where Japan and even America were decades ago. They don’t have a sense of quality or craftsmanship in their manufacturing or their art. Well, let’s be honest, there is no “Art” in China because everyone owns everything and the rights to everything, right? That’s another wormhole we’ll get to in another of my miserable descents into old man rant-world.

But the point is still there for reference. Our super-duper programming elitist culture vultures out there think that when they receive a shitty product from Amazon, that the answer all lies with “Customer Support.” According to 99.99999999% of all the reviews on the web and Yelp that I have read, the amazing customer service is what gets a company the five star rating.

Wait, what did I just write? Let me reread that just so I can get beyond my own absurd words…

Holy crap. (Sorry, I don’t use fucking emojis or emoticons, because I can actually use words and language to articulate my thoughts and emotions. I don’t need little Disney pictures of myself to impress others who forgot how to read and write). But, I digress…

Anyhow, my point is this. Companies and startups alike who think that their customer service is more important than actually making a great, well-crafted, well-manufactured, and well-finished product are sleazy little criminal outfits. Nothing more. They are taking advantage of a generation of fools who may well deserve their shitty products, but the rest of us are suffering at this generation’s stupidity. And it really pisses me off.

The entire concept behind the rating systems that exist is to rate the product itself. The shipping and customer service should get separate ratings. The ideal situation is that you should never ever have to deal with customer service. For anything. The item should arrive as described and in perfect working condition. No blemishes. No repackaged returns from another buyer. No used items. No old stock. No B stock. No shitty product runs that the manufacturer is trying to dump onto the open market. None of it. Just the best possible iteration of the manufacturer’s product(s). It’s the first thing you experience when dealing with a company. It is their physical product. Service is an entirely different argument.

The real problem is that the rating systems generated by having the web at all should help keep shitty products and companies out of the marketplace. That’s the idea. The minute we have to contact customer support, they have failed us. Their products have failed us. Their manuals have failed us. Their packaging and shipping have failed us. Having to wait a second or third time to get a better version of what should have been the best in the first place is completely unacceptable. And we should rate them that way. Those poor ratings will drive away consumers and force shitty companies to go under or fix their manufacturing to meet modern expectations for quality and craftsmanship.

The only problem here is getting this generation of imbeciles to see all of this. They need the eureka moment yesterday. How stupid. How absurd it feels to have to say any of this at all. In this day and age. In this era of such amazing technical ability we still have to deal with this much incompetance and ignorance.

What else can I say? We keep going backward. I for one intend to keep my expectations and standards at a superior level for as long as I am alive. And I will continue to call out shitty products, shitty service, and especially shitty people.

I have two words for you all: Ralph Nader. Look him up and how important someone like him would be to our society right about now.

So, remember, that five star rating you are giving for the wonderful “Customer Service” makes you look like a fucking moron, moron. Oh, hell, go back to your fucking words with friends, you stupid shit.

-Fritz

© 2021 Fritz Limner

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