Blown Away

It never ceases to amaze me how ridiculous, lazy, and stupid humans can be. You reach a point where the intelligence is supposed to take over, but it never works that way. Laziness always leads the way to “innovation” and “technological growth.” Ludicrous.

With all of the events currently taking place, like global warming and drastic changes in weather wreaking havoc, you would imagine that people would be trying harder than ever to deal with pollution. Air pollution. With all of the chronic breathing problems generated by forest fires and general smog, you would imagine that people would be doing everything they could to make the world cleaner for their childrn and grandchildren. Not so.

Every single day, somewhere in our great Democracy, an army of manly morons arrive in pickup trucks belching fumes and descend on our lawns to perform gardening maintenance for the bourgeoise households of ‘merica. And that tool-of-tools, the blower, is primed, gassed up, and readied for action.

You want to know why all of your children have asthma? You want to know why there is a brown haze in the distance over the nearby clusters of trees? You want to know why, after a life of no allergies, you suddenly find yourself constantly reaching for Alleve and your handy inhaler? Well, besides all of the general pollution caused by the glorified fuel-sucking planes, trains, and automobiles, there is the new frontier of leaf blowers. The noise alone is worth the price of ER admission. Just stand back a few yards from someone blowing on your street or in your neighbor’s yard. You will notice (hopefully your senses haven’t become so circumscribed that you have no access to your exteroceptors at all) a gigantic plume of dust and debris, including pollen, termites, spiders, ticks and the like. All for your breathing pleasure. and this plume travels hundreds of feet into the air. If not thousands.

Of course, the most ridiculous part of it all is that every single dust speck will land back on the ground somewhere. Your yard, your neighbor’s yard, miles away… who knows. But your yard is not getting “clean” by any stretch of the imagination. It’s a lie. A great falacy. And we all look the other way. Even after getting bronchitis and other breathing problems and illnesses. We all make believe it doesn’t exist. And that’s not taking into consideration all of the noise pollution and the hearing loss it causes to so many people

If you want a safer, healthier world, here is a great place to start. But first we have to get over the ‘merican lazy man. A broom, a rake, a dustpan, and a barrel will do nicely indeed. And good old fashioned elbow grease. It’s actually more time than work. And all of the lazy, fat ‘mericans can drop their deep-fried Twinkies and take an hour to simply do the right things for themselves and the world in general.


The money you spend on a “gardener” could actually be spent on a new bike so you can join your kids down at the local park. Imagine that. But I must be crazy, right?

I think it’s time to ban all blowers and gasoline-powered tools. Don’t you? Outlaw stupidity. Blow-n-go must go. It is really long overdue.